


How To Trust

by Centipet



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5811130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Centipet/pseuds/Centipet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short drabble~</p>
<p>Kaneki doesn't like giving control up to others even though he wants to be able to do it without fear and discomfort.<br/>However, he and Arima might have a solution - But it's a slow process</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Trust

**Author's Note:**

> A little something for Sataniel13 on Tumblr 
> 
> Based on one of me and Sataniel's many headcanons for this ship
> 
> (Amon is a half ghoul in this canon divergence /AU and is back working for CCG. Takes place after the Tsukiyama Raid)

“Are you ready?” Arima asked.

Few would have been able to hear any emotion in the Death God’s monotone voice, but Kaneki knew the concern was there. They had done this countless of times; So many that both had forgotten when they began, or who came up with the idea, but the concern always lingered.

“Yes, go on.” Kaneki voiced. He was always the one to take the lead. It was the only position he truly felt secure about. These sessions were the only time he let someone else take his position.

A displeased groan left Kaneki and his pulse speed up when Arima’s right hand was placed against his lower back, applying only the smallest amount of pressure, Arima’s left hand still securely intertwined with Kaneki’s.

They had discovered this as the best way for them to build their trust - A thing they lacked even though neither of them wanted to admit it. After everything that happened, Kaneki still had problems letting go of the control and letting Arima or Amon take it – Not that Amon ever seemed interested in wanting it though. However, he knew that Arima would love their roles being switched once in a while.

Kaneki lost that control every time he felt Arima’s hand pressed against his kakuhou, forcing his body to react on its own without his permission.

He buried his face further down in the madras, closing his teeth around the sheets to keep himself from making any sounds when Arima pressed down harder.

He couldn’t hold back a panicked yelp when he felt the hand disappear from his back for a few seconds before pressing down again with more strength, forcing Kaneki’s kakugan glowing into life.

“Relax.” Arima said while giving Kaneki’s hand a quick squeeze. Arima held his hand completely still while waiting for Kaneki’s breathing to slow down and his body to become relaxed again.

“You shouldn’t stop every time I make a sound.” Kaneki mumbled through cleansed teeth.

“And you shouldn’t push yourself with this.” Arima retorted. "This is about making you feel better, not to force you into being uncomfortable.”

“We both know I'm not comfortable with this no matter how gentle you are, and I’ll never become comfortable with it unless some progress happens.” Kaneki growled. "Progress only happens when you push yourself. Besides, It doesn't fit CCG's infamous Shinigami to be gentle."

He knew he had hitten a soft spot with those words and Kaneki's breath catched again, feeling the tears pressing on when fingers dig into the sensitive skin, his kagune begging to be released and Arima frowned.

"Process becomes negative when you push too far too quickly." Arima said with the same monotone voice that in reality covered an ocean of concern and doubt.

Tears did show up in Kaneki's eyes when Arima digged his fingers down again, making Kaneki lose control of all the muscles in his body for a few seconds, making him almost completely immobile and him giving him that feeling of weakness he hated so much.

In this second, Arima felt more like a predator looming over him, ready to strike, than his lover, whom would never wish to hurt him.

He grabbed a hold in the sheets with his right hand while pressing harder around Arima's with his left.

Arima almost flinched at the surprise when he felt one of his fingers dislocate because of the force Kaneki was applying on his hand, but he forced himself to sit still. Kaneki would just be angry at himself for hurting him; A guilt he really didn't need to bear. Especially not in their current situation.

A few minutes later with Kaneki progressively getting more stressed, Arima rose. 

"I think this is enough for now." he said in a tone that didn't leave room for questions.

Kaneki wanted to continue but didn't object. He knew this was exhausting for Arima as well.

 

* * *

 

Amon looked at Arima with a mix of concern and disapproval when Arima held out his hand.

"Is all of this really necessary?" Amon asked before reaching for Arima's hand and inspecting the dislocated finger.

"Yes." Arima answered, followed by a silence until he realized Amon was expecting and explanation as well. "Kaneki needs it. Some things need to hurt a bit before they can get better. Just like my finger."

Amon saw it as his cue and quickly pushed Arima’s finger back in place with a sickening cracking sound.

An almost unnoticeable flinch was all Arima responded with.

"But isn't there another way you can do it?" Amon asked. "Without any of you getting hurt."

"I'm not hurting him. And this," Arima gestured to his hand "was only a one-time thing. It haven't happened before and it won't happen again."

"You can't be sure." Amon retorted but knew there was no point in arguing with Arima; When he was set on something not even The One-Eyed Owl would be able to move him. "Just be careful, okay?"

Arima pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose with one of his less unfortunate fingers before he turned around.

"I always am. Thanks for the help."


End file.
